Today was another really busy day at work, just took over a new portfolio, and for the past 1 week i've been working til very late juz to clear my work. Initially i was still thinking that im so unlucky to have got this new job scope added to mine. But after awhile, i started to think of it positively as when im busy working, i will not have the time even to go toilet and hence i will not have time to worry and think about other stuffs.
Today, being a Saturday, normally can go back by 2.30pm, but due to the new workload im handling, so i left for home only at around 3.45pm. Bought a Fillet O Fish Meal from Mac for lunch, watched a bit of Animes and went to take a nap ;P At around 6.00pm Jasper called me on my mobile to ask me out for dinner, he will be driving over to my place to fetch me for dinner. I met him at around 6.30pm at the bus stop just in front of my block. He suggested that we go Changi Village for dinner as he has this really good recommendation.
When we reached Changi Village, the hawker center was really packed with lotsa people, but luckily we did not spend too long to find a seat. He strongly recommended me to this store "广兴" #01-16 selling Fish Soup and etc. He recommended me the Fried Fish Head with Bitter Gourd, but sadly i don't know how to eat Fish Head and also hated bitter gourds and so i had the Fish Bee Hoon instead. We waited for about 20mins before our food is ready. When our food arrived, i tried some of his Fish Head, its cooked with chillies kinda spicy, but to my surprise, its "Super Delicious" even thou i don't like fish heads and spicy food. But my Fish Bee Hoon was also very good too, the fish is really fresh, you can really taste the freshness of the fish when you chew it, and they fishes they use are totally different from those normal slice fishes you see every where. After our dinner, he drove me around Changi enjoying the night sceneries and looking at the planes there. It has really been a relaxing and soothing evening for me, Thank You Jasper!
19/04/2005, seems like everything is coming back to me again. Tossing and turning in my bed, thoughts running wild, feels like everything is bleak .... thought that soon i will be waking up from this nightmare, but ..... these few weeks, i don't feel like myself. I'm confused, I'm lost .... i feel im a changed person, i don't enjoy doing what i used to do, all my favorite games, my favorite shows, they all don't seems to interest me any more. My weakness is causing me so much pain. "Everytime i see you in my dreams, i see your face, you're haunting me"
Thought that medications are my best cure, but now its seems like its no longer working, couldn't sleep all nite even after taking the med, eyes wide opened, strange feelings running inside of me. Needed to doubled the dosage every nite. How long will i need to go through all this. "I made believe that you are here, its the only way i see clearly"
20/04/2005, again I overslept, think it might be the medications as i doubled it most of the time. Can't really concentrate at work any more .... mind drifting away even someone is talking. Normally, will be going home straight after work. But today, a sudden urge to just hang around ... just don't feel like be at home alone as no ones home. Strangely, wherever i go, the place just seems familiar, feels like i've once been there with someone close .... but just don't wish to recall who .... Really hoping that i could gather enough strength to make it though this rain! "At night i pray that your face will soon fade away"
As you turned and walk away
a tear fell from my eye,
It seemed almost impossible that you are leaving me.
I thought of all the yesterdays,
the good ones and the bad,
I have also thought of all the fun we shared.
If I could relive yesterday,
just even for a while,
I'd kiss you and say good-bye and maybe see you smile.
Woke up at about 1.15pm, sitted in front of my com, online friends known from "Hyper Relay" messaged me to ask me play a game or 2 with them. Obliged and join in the game. Not noticing the time ... the next thing i know, its already 3.45pm. Have not ate anything since in woke up, went to the kitchen to "HUNT" for food. Glad to find a packet of 'Cha Bee Hoon' with Chicken Wings on the table. Eat it while watching "Shrek" DVD. Went to take a nap after that -.-" (I'm just like a Pig, Eat liao then go sleep ...)
Woke up again at around 7.30pm. Called Shawn to ask if he's free to have dinner with me, he was actually at Changi Air Port seeing a friend off to Korea. Initially he suggested that i go over to Changi Air Port for dinner, so i showered and get myself ready. I took the MRT and while i was waiting for the Train to Air Port, Shawn called me to tell me that he wanted a change in plan as most of the shops in air port is already closed. So we decided to go Expo as there should be food stores there that SHOULD be closing at 10pm. But to out surprise, all the shops are closed when we reach there. (Being fooled by the advert from TV, saying closing @10pm daily)
Headed to MRT again, this time we decided to go Geylang as those shops there shold not be closing so early. And morever i remembered i once went to a shop that sell Pig Organs Soup that is very Famous, so i wanted Shawn to try it out. I can't really remember the axact location of the shop and so we just alighted @ Kallang station and walk all the way thru Geylang Rd. Eventally, we found the shop, we ordered a Large bowl of the Pig Organ's Soup, a bowl of Braised Pig's Stomach and a plate of veggie. Really enjoyed the dinner, especially the soup, really so damn tasty!!! And also not forgetting the chilli sauce, it really tastes great, it tasted a bit sweet and a bit sour, and not really spicy at all, really quite difficult to describe the taste, but we simply love the chilli ....
9am, woken up by a call ... my manager called me on my mobile to wake me up and make sure that i won't be late for work again. After the line was dropped, i was thinking that i still have time, maybe lie in bed for another 5mins, the next thing i knew, it was 9.45am!!! Immediately rush thru my shower got dressed, styled my hair and took a taxi to work. But still, late for work again ....
After work, went Somerset to meet Wenjie, today its his B.day, i remembered that he always wanted a "Lego Bionicle" Toy, so i bought him 1. After we met up, we headed to Taka's food court to have oyr lunch. I had Seafood Fried Rice and he had Malay Rice. After our lucnh, went over to Heeren as my Best Buddy, Shawn, wanted to buy a pair of berms from 4Skin, as Wenjie got the Heeren card and also its his B.day today, Shawn enjoyed a 20% discount from it. After that Wenjie had to rush off to meet his friends as he is going to watch a Play @ Esplanade.
After Wenjie left, Shawn and i decided to just hang around Orchard. But when we walked til Shaw Center, Shawn asked if i want to go for a Movie. As usual, Singapore, nothing better to do other than watching movies ... so i agreed. At first we were intending to watch "INFECTION" but the show has not screened yet, and so we decided on "CREEP" instead. Since we have decided on what show to watch, another 'headache' came, WHICH CINEMA TO WATCH!!!! We were cracking our heads on which cinema should we go to, but finally came to a conclusion, Suntec (Eng Wah) cuz we might find Orchard kinda boring liao.
Once we reached Suntec, Shawn starts to complain that he is "Ravenous" (a new word for very hungry) wahaha. So we went SubWay cuz he had a Subway promtion card and we can enjoy a 6inch sandwich, a medium drink and packet of chips for free. We had the Tuna Sandwich, basically we asked the girl there to cut the sandwich into half as so we can have half each. After that both of us were still feeling hungry, and so we went on to Mac and grab a Fillet O Fish each. We had the burger while shopping in Carrefour.
9.30pm the show starts, all along we knew that the show is not about Supernatural stuffs and its actually a Thriller movie. But didn't expected the show to be so boring, with no proper story line, not really scaring at all. And the worst part is, the show is basically PURE gross!!! Cutting and sawing of human flesh, blood spurting all over the place. Quite disappointed, sigh ..... wasted $8.50 on the show =(
This story tells us why we should continue to make and treasure friends.
One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd."
I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives."
He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.
We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books.
Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd.
He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak. Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days.
I could see that he was nervous about his speech, so, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began.
"Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends...I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story." I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable." I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.
Not until that moment did I realize its depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse.
God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way. So i really want to thank all my true friends out there, especially my best pal, SHAWN, for being there for me during my darkest moments.
Today (11 April 2005) like all Mondays, i expected it to be a really busy day for me. But to my surprise, after clearing all the weekend stuffs everything seemed so peaceful and not much work after that. And so i decided to surf the net for awhile. While doing so, from out of the blue flashbacks of the days before the (6 March 2005) just keep coming to my mind, i was feeling so confused and scared at the point of time. I know i need to think of something fast calm myself down. Immediately i searched my desk to look for something to do, so as to keep my mind occupied. Not long after that calls from Customers start coming in, thats when i know that my mind can now forcus on work alone.
No doubt 5 weeks had passed, but im still coping with what had happened ... It all seems like nothing much had changed, except for feeling less anticipated when the week is coming to an end. To me now, weekends are the days which i hope it will not arrive.
Whenever the week is coming to an end, i'll be feeling so afraid cos i know i need to find ways to keep myself occuppied. If not when i wake up during the weekend mornings, i'll be like a "Lost Soul" with no sense of direction, and my thoughts will start to run wild.
But 1 thing for sure, i'm not facing all these alone. I'm glad that i still have Shawn, he's BEST PAL that i could ever ask for. I remembered he once told me "When joy is shared with a friend, its doubled and when you share hurt, it will be halved"
Not just that, i have also received a comment on my previous Post, Dated 2nd April 2005 from an Anonymous person. It says : (I find memories are important as they make us who we are. Besides they can be excruciatingly painful today and then subside into nothingness as time wears on. We always adapt and accept in the end. If there was no such thing as love - we would never hurt but never feel true happiness either. You can't have the cake and eat the cake!) Time will be the only chance!
Kaoz .... wat an unlucky day for me. I've never expected such things would happen to me.
Today I went out with WenJie (We have not been in contact like for more than 2years liao) to Orchard. He said he wanted to but a T-shirt from "Four Skin" from @ Hereen. He has actually got a discount card from Hereen that entitles a 20% off in most of the shops there if his birthday is around the corner.
I met up with him @ Somerset MRT @ around 3.15pm. We went to have our lunch over at Cineleisure. He had some Japanese food from the food court that don't look any appetizing at all and i had was juz a bowl of "Dao Suan". After that we went straight over to Hereen, he bought his T-shirt at about $20.00 and due to the discount he has, i grabbed this apportunity to buy a bermuda from "Four Skin" as well. Thinking that i had saved $7.00 from the discount but yet not, cos after this something really unfortunate happened .......
We decided to go shop around in Orchard and the next destination we went was Far East Plaza. When we 1st arrived in Far East, WenJie said that he is feeling kinda thirsty, and so we went to the 7-Eleven there to grab a drink, the shop is so damn packed. We went over to the fridge to look for some drinks. While searching for our drinks, theres tis MALAY couple that was pushing and squeezing me i was quite annoyed and even gave them a stare ....
As the shop is realy too packed. My fren asked to me to wait outside instead, and so i went outside and waited for him. After he got the drinks, we went on as normal shopping around like nothing has happened. But after awhile, i receive a SMS from a fren and i took out my phone and looked at it, and after that i decided to check on my pouch ..... to my surprise ..... my Cannon IXUS 30 that is all along in my pouch was GONE!!!! (Argh ... i've been PICKPOCKETED!) I immediately tried to recall where i've been before this and i recall that MALAY couple that squeezed me back in 7-Eleven. The next thing that came to my mind is to make a police report. We remembered that theres 1 Police Post over in Tanglin and so we headed there immediately.
But after we reach, AGAIN to our surprise, the Police Post is closed down -.-" and only then that we found out from the Information counter over in Tanglin Mall that the next nearest Police Post is over in WISMA, and so we decided to walk there. When we reach WISMA, we can't seems to find the Police Post any where and so we decided to walk further down to Ngee Ann City to check out if its any where near there. But still to no avail , and so we went to get more information from the Information Counter in Taka. And THEN ... we found out that theres no Police Post near that vicinity and the nearest would be the 1 over in Killiney Road(Near the PUB building) we had no choice but to walk all the there. -.-"
We practically walked the whole stretch of Orchard Road just to make a Police Report (Damnit) But i still have to Thank WenJie cos he's patient enough to have kept me company and walked for so long without any complains.
I think all this happened is bcos i had "犯太岁" this year -.-" And so for today, instead of saving $7.00 from the bermudas i bought, i lost about $600.00 sob sob ...
Like any average weekends, i went out with friends, laughing .... joking .... but coming to the end of the day, i'll still ask myself all these questions over and over again : "What is LOVE? Why does it exist, when it brings pain to people?", "Why is there such things called MEMORIES?" Can Memories be deleted like any of the unwanted files with just a "DELETE" button? And "Am i really happy?" Can anyone really forget about the past and live on with life?
Theres a song that goes "If i wear a mask, i can fool the world but i cannot fool my heart". Humans are so vulnerable when it comes to "LOVE". It really affects and changes a person. Take myself for example, i used to be a scrooge, thinking that if i have lotsa money to myself and i can be happy even when im alone. But after what i went thru, i come to realise that money is not everything. But at times it can buy you short term happiness.
Buy something you like : 1 day of happiness
Go on a holiday trip : 1 week of happiness
But eventually, everything comes back to you! How long will i have to go thru with all these torments? If theres really a GOD out there, i really needed a light from you to guide me through this!
One day I dug a little hole And put my hurt inside I thought that I could just forget I'd put it there to hide.
But that little hurt began to grow I covered it every day I couldn't leave it and go on It seemed the price I had to pay.
My joy was gone, my heart was sad Pain was all I knew. My wounded soul enveloped me Loving seemed too hard to do....
SCB Recreation Club AGM Dinner & Dance (01/04/2005)
Suhaimi, Myself & Brandon
As today is a Friday, most of the bank staffs are working only until 5.30pm. All are packing up and ready for the Dinner & Dance held at the Pan Pacific Hotel. But for me .... my Department is not 1 of those that has the entitlement of leaving the office @ 5.30pm of Fridays as our dept operates 24hrs a day and 7days a week ..... and my official working hours are from 10am - 7pm, so i feel kinda sad seeing other dept packing up and leaving the office @ 5.30pm sharp.
But luckily, my manager is kind enough to have stayed behind to wait for me til 7pm as i won't need to travel alone to Marina Square. Immediately after i finished my work, my manager and i rushed to take the MRT to City Hall, when we reached City Hall, we still have to walk in to Pan Pac. Actually its supposed to be a short walk thru City Link Mall then up to Suntec Convention Hall, cross the bridge to Marina Square and we'll be in Pan Pac in no time. But ..... Sam (my manager) says that it will be faster if we go thru Marina Square ..... it actually took us 15mins to reach Pan Pac
But any way we think of it positively cos we think that it might be good to burn some fats before we stuff ourselves with all the food later =P
When we have finally reach our destinations, we thought that we are very late and might have missed the 1st few dishes ... but to our surprise, nothing was served yet. But not long after we reach, the dinner starts ^^ (we did not wait too long, while the other people reach the place like 6.30pm and they waited for more than an hours time, hahaha)
After the dinner, we had a talk cock session outside the ballroom, and i finally got a chance to meet up most of my fellow colleagues that i can only communicate with them over the phone, people from the customer service dept and the people form the branches as well. i had a wonderful nite and also had quite a few drinks .... and maybe not, think i had more than wat i expected, can't remember how much i drank, but i really drink to a part where i can feel that if i continue to drink i will sure collapse .... and morever i need to report back to work the following day so i know that i need to stop. After all that Kelly, Alex, Raymond and myself share and took a taxi home as all of us stay in Tampines area. It really was a wonderful nite for me
