But then it takes an entire life to forget that person.
YEAR 2005, it's only been less than 6 months and every thing just don't seems to go smoothly. I've been through too much for the past 5 months. Don't know how long will all these things go on? I realised that i'm a total failure in all the things i do .... Love, Career etc.
There are so many decisions in life that a person must make, but i've been a failure in so much things. I've always making wrong moves, i should not have followed what my heart says, in life you must always learn to be practical. For instance, i gave up a higher pay position offered by another dept of the Bank. Initially i gave this up it's becos this job requires shift and thus even if its a holiday, if the shift falls on the day i'll still need to work, but now, it seems like i can fit into the job perfectly, i realised that i even if i got holidays i don't think i will can enjoy it any way.
My heart has been shattered so many times in life, must a person really fall till he breaks his head then he will learn his lesson? Why am i so stubborn? There's a song by 张惠妹 that goes "心痛比快乐更真实" i finally knows what it means. At times i really feel like leaving this place and start my life somewhere where nobody knows me. But this idea seems so far away from me, if its within my ability to do it, i will definately leave this place ....
I don't blame anyone for any thing that has happened, all i can say is that i've made a wrong decision. Everything that has happened will be a learning lesson for me, in fact it had shaped me into a much stronger and indepandant person. Just hope that i will be more rational in making decisions instaed of diving head down first. Im so afraid of getting hurt again.
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Love is always around, but so is pain
People says that time will heal,
But time can't control how you feel.
Bear in mind, the harder you try forgeting,
it will mean the more you will be missing...
so let the 'Love' & 'Miss' go on,
someday it'll unconciously be gone,
probably it's gonna take quite long,
but 1 day.... the one you once Loved will only be a Memory!
Argh!!! Friday the 13th .... But my day wasn't that bad =p .Bump into Shawnie while walking to Plaza Sing. Never expected that he had brought along the Birthday present he bought for me. Was supposed to have passed it to me last week, but as he was encountering some problems in his relationship, so never got a chance to pass it to me on my Birthday. But he still wishes me a Belated Birthday.
Also glad to hear that he has patched things up liao, wish him all the best in his relationship! Any way we did not talk for long as im rushing to P.S. as the show will be starting soon. While walking to P.S i open up the present .... WHOA guess what i got? Its my Fav CHIP & DALE stuff toy ^^ so reall damn cute, send Shawnie an sms to tell him that i really liked the present soooo much. And thnx Shawnie, if you happened to be reading this. =P
Met up with Guangwei and Zehui, my long no contact friends =P As i did not have my dinner yet, so decided to "smuggle" a Macdonald meal into the cinema. We watched "House of Wax" it was a totally gruesome show, with lotsa killing, stabbing cutting and "Peelin" hahaha. After the show we went home, cos no where else to go liao ..... SIANZ!
12 May 2005 (Thursday)Not a very good day for me today. Been a very busy day at work and got scolding from a stupid customer ..... but at least i got the DVDs i ordered today. Met up with Nash at Bugis in the late evening, ask him to accompany me to Bugis Village to fix a hook on the Friendship band 杰 gave me. Nothing much, went dinner at the V8 Cafe, talked awhile, but some how was reminded of some memories that was mend to be forgotten. But luckily was able to clear my mind before it starts running wild again .... Did not stayed out long after dinner, cos by the time we finished its already 10+ and so both of us went to the MRT and took a train home.
What Your Dreams Mean...
Your dreams seem to show that you're a bit disturbed... but nothing serious.
You may have a problem you're trying to work out in your sleep.
Overall, you are very content in your life.
Your dreams tend to reflect your insecurities.
You have a very vivid imagination and a rich creative mind.
Met up with some of my ex-colleagues, quite surprised that they still remembered my B.day. Suggested that we all meet up at Orchard. Once we reached orchard, we went to have a quick bite at Shaw Center. Not long after they, we decided that we go Swenson's to have out dinner. There were a total of 6 person including myself. During our dinner another of my colleague came, whom she can't join us for the day as she already had an appointment with her friend, but still, she made it just to wish me Happy Birthday (How Sweet).
After the dinner, we had our dessert and chat for awhile at the restaurant. To my surprise, a waiter brought a cake to the table from behind and they all started to sing Happy Birthday for me (really very touched). Its my fav, an ice-cream cake ^^ Hooray. After that we walked all the way to parklane had a game of Pool and then proceeded to have some 豆花 for dessert.
After which another from of ours called and suggested that we go chilled out in a bar, and so we went on to Bugis where we spent the nite in a Bar directly behind Bugis Junction. Hang around there till around 2.30am, went to have our supper and the next stop .... HOME (hahaha)
(08th May 2005) (Sunday)
2nd day of celebration. Met up with 文杰 at Bugis. Suggested that we go Marina Square for dinner as it has been a very long time since we last went there. When we reached there, not many restaurant were available, initially we wanted to have dinner at Cafe Cartel in Suntec but 杰 mentioned that the food there is not very good, and so we dropped the idea. Eventually we came to this restaurant Imperial Treasure Chinese Restaurant. As it is Mothers Day, its kinda crowded but still, there are still seats for just the 2 of us.
We ordered 2 different 拉面, 小龙包 and a plate of 汤饺. At first we thought that it will not be enough, but after we finished our 拉面, we nearly could not finished the 小龙包 and 汤饺. As we dun wan to waste food, we managed to finish up everything.
After that we took a slow stroll along Esplanade, and then to Fullerton Hotel. I told him a birthday is not complete without a cake, and so he brought me to BakerzInn and bought me a Cheese cake and a Chocolate cake for himself. The Cheese cake even have a candle on it ^^ even thou its only a small slice. While enjoying the cake, he took out my Present! I got a really cute Mouse that signifies my Birth Date 09th May, not just that, I also received a Friendship Band with my name on it that was made by himself. Really had enjoyed my nite!
Went to People's Park with my cousin, Gina, went recce at tour agencies to see if theres any cheap deals. Planning to go Taiwan from 22/05/2005 - 27/05/2005. But sadly did not have much info gathered as by the time i finish work and reached People's Park, its already 8pm ... But we still managed to go into a few agencies that is about to close and got some of the brochures from them.
After that, we were feeling kinda hungry liao cos i have not had my dinner and she also juz came from her Yoga lessons. So we decided to have our dinner @ good old Chinatown. Initially she suggested that we eat the Cha Kuay Tiao, but i not in the mood for that and so we dropped the idea. I then suggested the Claypot Rice. I was once recommended to that store by my Officer during my NS and also been there with her once. We ordered the $8.00 pot that serves 2 person, a 西洋菜汤 and 2 cups of 甘蔗水. Went home straight after dinner cos when we finished, its already 10.30pm liao ....
Wah lao, 文杰 told me he got people from mediacorp approached him to ask if he wants to be a star in TCS while he's reading comics in Kinokuniya lor .... But dunno why he rejected the offer sia -.-" if for me har, will surely say "Yes yes yes" hahaha.
Any way, today i met up with 杰 to have dinner at Geylang. We took a train to Aljunied and walk out way to the Infamous 牛肉河粉 in Geylang. We ordered a plate of 牛肉河粉 at $10.00 for 2 person, and also a plate of Oyster Omelette (also $10.00).
It was really a very hot evening .... before our food was served, we were already perspiring like mad liao. Some more we had the Omelette which is cooked with so much pepper that made us sweat even more :( After that we juz stepped over to the other side of the coffe shop where we had our dessert.
The shop is no other than the 油条大王, we ordered 2 bowls of 豆花 and 2 cups of 豆浆. No doubt both of us were so full liao, but we still enjoyed the dessert ^^ The 豆浆 costs $1.00 per cup and the 豆花 costs $1.50 each. Initially we wanted to try out the 台湾面线 but too bad we really ate too much liao, got feeling the stomach going to explode liao .... and so we gave it a miss lor. After our dessert its 10+ liao le, and so we head back to Aljunied MRT and went home. And our next meeting will be this coming Saturday le, cos he bought me a Birthday present ^^ really excited to know what is it le :D
Your birth on the 9th day of the month adds a tone of idealism and humanitarianism to your nature. You become one who can work easily with people because you are broadminded, tolerant and generous. You are ever sensitive to others' needs and feelings, and you are very sympathetic and compassionate.
Your feeling run deep and you often find yourself in dramatically charged situations. This 9 energy always tends to give more that it gets
Whoooo, A New Day Has Come! I have learned so much from these past few months. Now i feel like a brand new person. I really don't know how i overcome my fears. I have been through sleepless solitude nights, feeling sorry for myself .... there were times when i even needed medications to calm myself down and taking pills in order to go to sleep.
But hey, i finally realised that i was so stupid to have felt that way. It will only make yourself feel worst if you just continue this way. I realised that nobody likes a nobody, even when you cry or feel sorry for yourself, nobody will care or even notice you. I learnt that its really important to have confident in oneself, SMILE, it really helps, make yourself feel like you are on the top of the world. People will start to notice you. Guess what smiling has brought me? Friends! I had people come talking to me, and i've made new friends by just smiling! Someone ever told me this "Those who have hurt you in the past cannot continue to hurt you, unless you hold on to the pain through resentment" Whats past has past, things that are not meant to be, then its not meant to be. I have found my strength through my weakness. I see a light in the sky!
